Monday, August 30, 2004

yea thats kinda funny

no nuttins funny i dont know what i am talkin about so fuck it was that funny i dont think so and if you do you dumb i realized today that i should stop talkin to people i only talk to people when they want something from me like drugs i realize i get good ass drugs but damn man they could atleast get me all fuckin drugged up and shit but ehh i get drugged enuf i geuss but ther is nuttin wrong with some more drugs i want some drugs i like drugs DRUGS...DRUGS

duh

yea im fuckin bored but i got high today so it wasnt a total wastebut fer the most part yea it was a waste of a day i think i might go back to the skate park or something i dont know i think masen is goin to the movies in like a min so i might show up after the movies i dont know im out this shit

ok

uhh yea i still kinda feel sick but yea i dont know i think i might go back to bed fuckin phones all ringin and wakin me up man im fuckin insaine but yea fuck it



hello alex
good bye alex talk to you sometime

Sunday, August 29, 2004

ok um huh fuck it

man i dont feel good like my head hurts and im sick to my stomic this is bull shit i wanna get high but i dont have no pot so i guess im just not gonna get high till like tamarra man this blows ass i wonder if alex has gotten on today well if not then damn but if she did mutha fucka i should have been on i learned how to play the song float on on my guitar its kinda easy like really easy hells yea my sister is here she is cool i wonder if she gots some pot fer me man im gonna go now im board

im gonna bitch slap my mom

fuckin dumb ass bitch ill fuckin kill your fat fuckin ass stupid mutha fucker god i hate my mom shes so dumb

last nite

man last nite was really kool i almost feel asleep not just pass the fuck out i almost slept it was cool i was diggin it till i had to leave i wanted to stay for like and hour more or so then i would have fallen asleep but ehh i had fun it was great and i did lose something i lost my pen thats all tho everytime i am ther i lose something but its cool ther is a price fer everything and well i will lose alot of shit to see alex but i gots me some handcuffs but i didnt get to use them but i got them it was cool ill use them someday but fer now they is part of my clothes im gonna were them to court and shit itll be great but yea im gonna go now and shit

dont be like that

you knew when you told me i was mad and you told me that you found pleasure in the fact that she did that and well i dont see the big fuckin deal you aint gotta freak out like that man damn

Saturday, August 28, 2004

ok well that wasnt that bad

i just woke up and i got to talk to alex and shit it was good i needed to talk to her from last nite i was so mad but im not now man all this shit dont even matter tho i still dont know why i got mad we arnt a couple or anything i just didnt wanna here it from emly i guess she was all happy and shit about it or i might have gotten mad cuze tony never told me

i dont know im out

i wish she would have told me

man fuck i just found out that tony and alex had a thingy the other nite i kinda figured as much but i didnt know so i didnt matter but now emly told me about it and it made me so fuckin mad i fuck it im gonna go and cut its all i can do now i just need to get away from all the shit that is in my head i fuckin hate it fuck yall FUCK FUCK SHIT DAMN ASS FUCKER BITCH WHORE SLUT CRACK HEAD HONKEY LUVIN CUM INCRUSTED BLOODY ASS TAMPON FUCK OFF

Friday, August 27, 2004

yea weird

this is kinda weird i was walkin home today all drunk and shit and then priscilla stopped me and was all like get the fuck in and i was just thinkin about fuckin her i was all like she need to give me a ride and let me ride her and well one of the too came true so im happy but i would have liked to fuck her but i dont think jason would like it but i would i was also thinkin about alex me and emly are talkin now and well i dont know about that we are talkin about something kinda cool but yea i got on just to see if alex was on and shes not so damn im bored im gonna listen to a couple songs and prolly go to bed

sure

yea ill hang out wit ya fer awhile some time just fuckin i dont know i will call ya some time yea i dont know i just got on to see if someone was on and shit but now im out

i close my eyes only for a moment and the moments gone

man yea i wanna talk to alex dont really have anything to say i just wanna talk to her i dont know why but i like talkin to her it makes me feel normal i dont feel normal often so when i do its like something new and shit i dont know i will have to get on again tonite like prolly around 9 or so alex if you read this befor then try to get on around like 9 and shit but yea im gone gonna go and help masen get something but now im out this shit

Thursday, August 26, 2004

yea just bein me

yo yo yo sup yall yea your just a bitch in the game and yall always gonna be the same today was kinda cool i went and got high with this dude i havent gotten high with for one year it was great but other than that i still think about alot of shit that i shouldnt be thinkin about but hey i get better at skateboardin i do it like really hardcore so i can get some aggression out my legs are really fucked up its kool i like the pain its all gravy i have done a lot of thinkin and im still wher i started at and yea well it blows ass but yea i think im gonna go and skate board again maybe i dont know i wanna get high tho and i got pot so im gonna go and get high



aLeX says:
email or blog or ill juss wait till u get on or ill come c you sometime

yea and well you better or ill be mad seriously ill be mad like badly but yea im out peace

killa im out

uhh yea i dont think so

i stay rid of you lames i play videos games all day in not really that depressed it is normal for me to feel this way i like it it helps with things it will get worse befor it gets better i just need to think about things and do what i need to do you say get a job i say hit a knob so fuck who be clean it sucks to be me....... yea its normal .........i guess fuck who cares

i like this song everyone should listen to it

"Mad World"
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok well damn i guess i dont know what i want i think i might just up and leave i mean i dont really have much to stay for oh shit i got court tomarra fuck i hope i go to jail ive never been and i wanna go but yea i think i am gonna just give up on talkin to alex she aint ever on so fuck i dont know i guess she just dont wanna talk to me so fuck it well damn i guess im just gonna have to give up on it it always happens i never get to do anything i wanna do im just fuckin cursed but shit happens so im done bitchin about it

hello darkness my old freind

i close my eyse only for a moment and the moments gone all my dreams go befor my eyes with curiosity man some times some songs can say everything i need to say but dont know how like the song dust in the wind or sound of silence those songs are the shit man they some old ass songs too the only bad thing is they is kinda depressing but ehh i like bein depressed today is the shit my leg is all fucked up from last nite and its hurts its so kool nuttin lasts for ever except for the earth and sky so why dose it matter if i care so fuck that idont care i will never care well maybe a little for some one or actually like 3 people and i will always feel for them and i hate them for it all makein me unhappy if i didnt care i wouldnt get hurt but i do and i always get hurt and well im kinda gettin used to it so fuck it im gonna go and skateboard or something i dont know im fuckin board so fuck it im out

so fuck myself

this is the very meanin of hate you just kept pushin and pudhin till i was farther and farther away i gotta deal with this and everybodie else and ther all just better than me so yea i was on till like 1130 last nite and you wernt so i guess im just gonna listen to some musik and shit and maybe ill get to talk to you later maybe or not i dont know so fuck myself

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

ok well damn

well i think im gonna go to bed or maybe go out and skateboard i dont know i need to go and try some shit or just get rid of some energy and i think yea or im gonna go and smoke some pot and go to bed i want to go and skateboard its fuckin fun tonite i was at the skatepark and shit and i fucked my leg up like realy good but it was worth it cuze i was like one inch from landin a 540 flip in the quarter pipe neil and airheady were ther and neil was all like HOLY SHIT MAN THATS FUCKIN THE SHIT even tho you didnt land it and then airheady was all like get up wuss then i went and wipped alot of blood off on her and was all laughin like i was crazy it was funny but yea im gonna go now

i fuckin knew this would happen

yea i was happy fer a while but now im back to the same old shit i can only be someone else fer so long its fucked up i cant be me ther is too many me's its bullshit and they all suck man i play video games all day short attenion span man my blogs dont make any sence its all just a bunch of bullshit ill never let you hold me back im gonna do what i need to do and it might hurt someone probly myself but i can handel that i like bein depressed and in pain its fuckin great and the knife at the skin then tearin threw the skin and the blood rushin out like a fuckin foutain it will be great at least i will know im alive for a while take me now the wagons need to come over the hill soon or im gonna go and look for them i want to die and dont fuckin tell me not to that shit just makes me mad no one needs to care i am a big boy i can take care of myself and i can die by myself i dont need anyone to be ther for me i dont need anyone to want me i dont need anything but fuckin death in death i can be happy and never have to live and never have to care or get offended or have to deal with shit or have to wake up everyday and go threw one more day of bullshit just one cut and i can float on the pain and get over it but i cant i told someone inportant to me that i wouldnt long befor i told everyone else and i can just be a lair to her she would whoop my ass when she found out but man why do i always gotta be thinkin about her and shit this shit just fucks me up it drives me crazy i cant do this all the time its not healthy but fuck it if it dont kill me well then fuck it man im fuckin dumb
WHAT YEA WELL FUCK YOU YEA FUCK YOU MUTHA FUCKAS

its not really that inportant i just wanted to talk to someone

its not a big deal i just wanna talk to you but i dont know if i will be on but i will try but yea i am fuckin out this shit so yea im leavin

Monday, August 23, 2004

yeah

well this is interesting no its not i wish it would just end i want to talk to alex now and earlier and fuckin like all day and shit and now she aint on and yea im not likein this conversation with emly that much im done talkin to her for now ill talk to her some other time i know if i keep talkin to her im gonna flip but i cant be all like shut up damn it now she is gonna read this later and get mad see i know something im kinda mean i guess im just not spost to be all talkin about inportant shit like this so fuck it man man man man man man man i want to talk to alex im gonna go crazy and freak out i am not gonna be able to sleep tonite and shit fuck i think im gonna ride my bike and smoke alot of pot until im like passin out and shit then im gonna go ride my bike really fast threw the woods and shit and hopefully i wont wake up but ill prolly get jewed and fuckin just wreak my bike and not get hurt it will be fuckin bullshit so i might not do that man and fuck you bitch what the fuck i dont like repeatin my self and if you dont like what is in my blog dont fuckin read it i dont care man damn im done



to all the people i have offended yea fuck you too for all the drugs that ive done this blunts for you

man where is you man

alex you so aint on now so i will check later but yea im out

Sunday, August 22, 2004

uhhh yea im fuckin tired

whats the dealeo im fuckin out

alex

hey baby yea i might be on later but im gonna go lay down or something i dont know im still thinkin about you but yea peace out

man im fuckin outta my mind

on and on and on i go just cruzin threw life wantin everything i cant have and just kinda living in hell and livvin it up to the fullest i gotta do this to stay saine but its all good im just kinda wantin to talk to someone but she aint on and shit so damn well fuck it im just gonna keep writing dumb shit in here and hopefully alex will get on so i can talk to her befor i run out of things to say i am fuckin dumb i need to get high but i aint gots no moneys so im out of luck like a slut with nobodie to fuck and we will all float on ok well i will i always float on already we will all float on alright man i am runnin out of shit to just fuckin write i have a short attention span i need to go to a shrink and see if i am crazy or see if i can just kinda mindless self indulgence is the shit i ve been denied all the best ultra sex couldnt say no but its kinda pissin me off it reminds me of some one that i try not to think about i think i might call some one today that i havent talked to in like a year and shit this song is the shit take me now fuck me later man listen keeps commin on and shit i cant remember your face noone can take your place everybodie in this mutha fucka hearin me now man im talkin to jazzy i havent talked to her for a long time its kinda good talkin to her i normaly get to just sit ther and be able to bitch about everything to her then she dose the same thing and it just kinda helps and even if we aint bitchin its still kinda good to talk to her but now she aint really talkin maybe its cuze i just keep writing in my blog and she is all talkin to me and shit but fuck that i wanna talk to alex but she just aint gettin on i know that i aint shit it aint no fuckin secret your a high horse rideing o so judge mental complex mutha fucka and i am so simple your better than me your really better than me you cant be better than me i never want to be

something is wrong with me i cant be who i need to be will it last for eternity

i hate everone and i hate everyone twizted is the shit an alex still aint on this shit is bullshit man i need to take some pills im a pillhead yea i need pills i dont want them wanting is for children man fuck that im thinkin i might just kinda zone out im tired of writin alot of bullshit this shit dont even meen nuttin im just wasteing time and alex aint gettin on man i need drugs im a druggie

but im out this shit so yea AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!



peace the fuck out bitches

im fucked up in the head

hey well im kinda still kinda fucked up from last nite i was up all nite thinkin about alex and i only got to see her for a little while but it was better than nuttin i guess but i will fuckin hang out with her sometime like when she dont run away from me i had a dream about her for like 5 mins then i got woke up its like everytime i wanna see her or get close to seein her i get robbed

sami whats happinin i didnt know you read this shit thats cool and yes i can die you cant

and alex since you all like read this shit and shit you should write me on here but i dont think im likein just sittin here waitin for you or ali to get on so im gonna kinda just bail out on you

peace out

and i wanna know what you say when you talk about me that shit is still buggin me im gonna be all thinkin about it for like a really long time but yea i wanna talk to alex so im gonna go lay down and shit

Thursday, August 19, 2004

fuck off

all this madness and all this pain made something snap inside my brain and all this hate and all this pain made me realine my mind and i find that i dont wanna lose you but i did is just my mind cuze it keeps rippin me apart i need some fuckin help i wanna get drunk i mean thats why they call me bottle drip even tho we dubbed someone else bottle drip shawn is bottle drip 2 i need some fuckin booze

im breakin down

i want to know if i can do what i need to do but ther is no way to tell if i can until i do it all i need to do is just run the fuck away and kill myself everything that i want is gone for good i cant get it back and nuttin else will do so im just fucked im gonna have to spend the rest of eternity all fucked up and alone even when i die i am gonna be alone no one can see anything from the other side of me looseing everything i want and not gettin anything back just kinda gettin in robbed but i guess it aint all that bad i just dont get to be happy

i drove my car into a cop the other day well he just left sometimes i guess lifes ok and well all float on ok and well all all float on anyway

i need someone to help me out but nobodie can so im fucked man you ddont even know what the fuck i am talkin about so just shut the fuck up i dont want you talkin to me so go fuck yourslef mutha fucka i hate you fuck you die bitch die i hope you fuckin die when i get to watch it

i wanna see someone die

i wanna die

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

twizted lyrics for listen

"...and I'm sorry I had a fucking mental breakdown, how many times did you...could you be normal if someone disrespected your dead father every chance they got?"
All This (all this)...
I can't remember your face
All this (all this)...
No one can take your place
All this (all this)...
I can't remember your face
All this pain and animosity!
It's not everyday I get to sit around and chat,
Sit down and think maybe even talk about,
that shit just drives me crazy, Fuckin' me up.
I'm outta luck like a slut with nobody to fuck,
Somebody talk to me, hear me out, lend me an ear,
Before I lose it on society and do it so Violently
Fearer of fear, hands sweaty, losin' my breath,
I'm sittin' with death, somebody sittin' on my chest
Best remedy's revenge on people who wouldn't listen
Cheeks glisten cuz I'm cryin', my vision is so violent
Didn't worry cuz I'm losin' it. Abusin' anybody that's
confusin this with lyin or me tryin to get attention,
Sention on my mind, all I think about is dyin
In spite of me livin' in Hell, breakin' me down
Outta touch with reality, fuck it I'm out,
Everybody in this motha fucka's hearin me now,
I don't wanna lose you, but I lost you!
I Can't Remember your face
Never gonna let go, never gonna back down
No One can take your place
Why did you leave? where did you go?
I don't know, why did you just go away
And Leave me here with all this pain and animosity?
I'm so lost without my loved ones
can't seem to let go.
Why do I keep breathin? Does God want me to die slow?
On the edge I stand lookin at the past on
wondering how long I'm allowed to carry on
so many left that was just too close.
At times I feel all alone and I just can't cope.
Why did they have to go? Why did they have to leave?
If it's not family then it's the homies from the streets.
My mind's set not to take that shit,
but I gotta stay strong for the sake of my kids.
(Hi daddy)
How close does the soul gotta get
to make you want to slit your wrist after they heart quits?
It's so hard to you lose in life
but even harder to recover
specially when memories start to smother
you can't run so just take that pain,
cause I'ma always gonna hold on to your name rememberin....
I don't wanna lose you, but I lost you!
I Can't Remember your face
Never gonna let go, never gonna back down
No One can take your place
Why did you leave? where did you go?
I don't know, why did you just go away
And Leave me here with all this pain and animosity?
It's everyday that the anger seem's to be killing me off
It's kinda nice to have a chance to talk,
Or rather have you, listen to me,
You always listen to me no matter what
state of mind I appear to be visiting,
you were there for me
Even when I said I was outta my mind,
You were the one that said give it some time,
And I would find I could put the pieces back together again,
you were the one that trusted me til the end,
I can't pretend that I never had faith in you,
I was only afraid, I knew what was going on,
but didnt know what to say I was so young,
feeling like my soul was torn,
coming to grips with the fact you ain't comin home no more,
All this madness, and all this pain,
Made something break inside brain,
and all this hate, and all this time,
Made me realign my mind and I find that...
I don't wanna lose you, but I lost you!
I Can't Remember your face
Never gonna let go, never gonna back down
No One can take your place
Why did you leave? where did you go?
I don't know, why did you just go away
And Leave me here with all this pain and animosity?
I don't wanna lose you, but I lost you!
I Can't Remember your face
Never gonna let go, never gonna back down
No One can take your place
Why did you leave? where did you go?
I don't know, why did you just go away
And Leave me here with all this pain and animosity?

uhh yea too many drugs

man i think i did too many drugs or something i dont know

and we'll all float on ok

Monday, August 16, 2004

yea im bored

yea i skateboarded like almost all day today it was good but yea i was thinkin about shit and well i just hope that i can do what i was thinkin about but im gonna try and hopefully i dont hurt myself but i prolly will i think i might go on a late night skate spree or i might go and get a bag in a little bit and see what masen is doin and shit he might wanna get high with me later and skate around it will be great but i dont know i might just go to bed and get my new deck tomarra that will be the mutha fuckin shit
after i get it im gonna go to the skatepark and pimp some shit like old school style cuze that would be freash and im a juggalo i make shit freash thats what i do mutha fucka but yea fuck yall bitches and in case i forget you gettin old nesam

Sunday, August 15, 2004

yea

i just got back from the skatepark it was cool i showed this little kid up hard core it was funny i think after i get something to eat im gonna go back ther and sooner or later i am gonna go to butters house and see if i get paid today and if not see if butters wanna go to the skate park and skate work on some basics it will be great i wanna do it now and im staring down the barrel of a 45 man the new radicals are the shit
WHAT YEA WELL FUCK YOU YEA FUCK YOU MUTHA FUCKAS

just kinda zonein

the song float on by modest mouse is stright the fuckin shit i need to get a new cd walkman so i can go and zone out on that but i think im gonna go and hit up the skatepark fer awhile then see what is goin on yea we will all float on ok good news is on the way fuck that im gone

this is the song downfall by trust company i wish some one would listen to it and know what i know

but that shit aint never gonna happen so all yall should read the lyrics xcept fer nesam cuze well he already knows he is like that bitches fuck yall

Down Fall : Trust Company

Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me,
In the fear I fall,
here it comes face to face with me,
Here I stand hold back so no one can see,
I feel these wounds,
step down, step down,step down.

(am I) Breaking Down
Can I break awayPush me away,
make me fall,
Just to see,
another side of me,
Push me away,
you can see,
what I see,
the other side of me.

Fall back on me,
and It'll be the strength I need,
to save me now,
just come face to face with me,
stay in place you'll be the first to see,
me heal these wounds,

step down, step down, step down,
down I'm not breaking, down
can I break away
push me away,
make me fall,
just to see another side of me,
push me away you can see,
what I see,
the other side of meGo!
Fall, can I break away
push me away,
make me fall,
just to see another side of me,
push me away you can see,
what I see,
the other side of me
No one can see anything on the other side of me
I walk,
I crawl,
loosing everything and waiting for the downfall
No one can see everything on the other side of me
I walk,
I crawl
loosing everything on the downfall.

Downfall, Fall.


kick ass masens mom took us and emly to a werid al concert it was great we meet theis guys and shit and got them high and werid al was the shit it was the first concert i have been to in my whole life and nobodie knows what was goin on with me but me i was in a differnt world with someone and it was great

Thursday, August 12, 2004

man i dont need this i dont need anything so i wanna try new things man you act like im fuckin gonna kill someone like your mom i got high at work today i think im gonna go and hit things tonite i should get drunk and fuck every bitch i see i should just fuck everyone then die

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

yea well fuck that

im gonna go get high cuze well i dont have anything to do man im still kinda mad from yesterday but fuck yall im smokin pot

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

she loves me not she fuckin hates me so why the fuck do i care maybe i just want her cuse i cant have her

FUCK

fuck man i think i might have gotten fired from my job so i dont know i guess i will have to find another job or just fuckin kill myself or i could just go back to bein a bum i wonder what masen is doin im gonna call him

Saturday, August 07, 2004

THINKIN ABOUT KD AGAIN

ok well i dont know why but everytime i hear certain songs i think about kd well i think about her alot the other day i was told some shit about her that really made mad i cant beleave that i wont she cant be like that she wouldnt do that to me well i hope not and if she did than i dont know what i will do but it probly wont end well ouch burn i am my own worst enime im not the smartest mutha fucka and shit i dont pretend to be and why i am the way i am is not a mystery my minds not in proper workin order were in theripy deranged confused and mentaly abused life been hangin on the streets so what the fuck do i got to loose and what the fuck i got to prove to you if you dont know me by now youll never know me you can put that on my real hommies i got problems and they stacked like bills and i relate to the broken lady hard love kills and i awaited in the shadows awaitin the dark hopin to talk to the past on im fallin apart im such a mass indecisive fadin away im outta touch with society and living a day never relied on my sanity i just trew it away and became the mainiac that you are seein today

im cold forgivin on my beleifes im nobodie that you ever want to be cuse i know the world is afraid of me

but yea i do miss her and i dont know

a little look in my head

im unhappy im depressed i act like everything is good when its not i like to suffer i like cuttin i like dieing i like darkness i like clowns i like sunny days i like skateboarding i like boozing it up wit masen and butters and listing to the insane clown posse but it dont mean shit with out you and i would give it all up for you its just that that dont matter to you all the things that i like dont mean shit to you and i cant change that by giving it up so all i can do is just take the pain and hold on to it until the day i get to let it all go

oh god i cant wait ther is just too much pain to deal with

Friday, August 06, 2004

ok really who is the one that posts and dont say who they are

ok well that kinda scares me i dont know who sends the posts but they mess with my head i wish you would send your name with it i always think i know who it is but im not sure and well i dont know i hope it is the one i think it is so please tell me who you are

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

ok that is fuckin bullshit i cant fuckin cope with this shit i needed to talk to you and you just fuckin left you left me i was lookin forward to talkin to you today i really need someone to talk to and you were the one that i needed but i will deal with it my mutha fuckin self god im fuckin pist off jesus fuckin crist i fuckin cant stand this shit i wanna fuckin just go and die all by my self thats rite i wanna die alone i have had a very bad fuckin time since you left and now that you are back i still gotta fuckin wait till you get back but fuck it have fun with nesam im gonna go now im sorry fer anything that i do but well its all i can do so fuckin deal with it damnit when i needed you you wernt ther you have no fuckin clue how much i needed you but yea



FUCK ALL OF YOUS BITCHES ILL FUCKIN KILL MYSELF RITE NOW AND THER AINT SHIT YOU COULD DO CUZE YOU AINT EVEN NEAR ME!!

im a fuckin cutter bitches ill fuckin cut my shit all the fuck up!

fuck off

Monday, August 02, 2004

ok well today kinda sucked ass i saw alot of ppl tho i dont know who half of them were but i think i saw jazzy and cindy and alot of other girls but the whole day i spent tryin to find something that aint around i gotta go to work tomarrow so i aint gettin drunk and if i gotta do everything tomarrow im gonna be pist off but i think emly gets home tomarrow so that will be good i need to talk to her really bad but i dont know if its gonna end well it all depends on how i feel tomarrow but i dont know if i am gonna be in a bad mood or not prolly a bad one i have been in a bad mood fer a long time now i dont know if i even care anymore all the things that i care about is gone well except fer a select few but yea fuck it i gave up

fuck all of you little fuckin bitch ass cock suckin honky inbread mutha fuckas i hope you all die

ok well if anyone is gonna post on my shit leave yo fuckin name damnitt im in a really fuckin bad mood and ill probly be like this fer a while so fuck you if you dont like it ill fuckin kill you i dont want to have to deal with this shit and every little thing pisses me off real bad so just dont say anything thats not inportant fuck off

Sunday, August 01, 2004

man today i got a letter from kd and she was all like fuckin sayin she is leaving me in the past so i dont know if what i am gonna tell her when she gets back will even matter but fuck it if it dont im outta here fuck this aint nuttin left for me here so im out this bitch but yea i wanna kill myself like really bad i dont wanna wake up in the morning i cant handle this shit i dont even know what is going threw my head i just know that i dont like it i want it all to just end i dont think i can go on without her i am not gonna be well fer a long time i think i might just go and get my ass sent to jail or maybe i will go and pick a fight with alot of ppl and get my ass kick real bad and cut some mutha fuckas real good and go to prison fer a long time but im gonna talk to someone and bail the fuck out this shit im fuckin gone

man fuck i dont know what i am all about anymore everything i loved is gone i have fucked up something good i think i am gonna cut again and i was doin so good i wanna die like really bad i dont know i just cant do this i cnat live with out her i will run away really far away and only talk to masen again just like last time it will be great now i just gotta find someone who needs a chef yea a mutha fuckin cook bitches i dont care i will go to prison for the rest of my life she aint comein back to me ever and i wont live with out her so fuck yall im still paid