Wednesday, June 30, 2004

ok yea i gotts nuttin to do i think im gonna go to westcott and watch some fuckin losers play a game or maybe not i dont know what i am gonna do

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that shit was funny ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


fuck this shit fuck all of you fuck yo mamas too bitch what

ok yea i dont really remeber all of yesterday but i do remember i lost my knife again and that shit pisses me off like really bad but yea im talkin to jazzy and masen so im gonna go now peace out dawg

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

well fuck i wanna get drunk and i cant remember that one bitches name from watermelon days
fuck i dont know what i want i just want something

Monday, June 28, 2004

im so fuckin bored

yea i wish some one was on or some shit i dont know i just wanna talk to some one i dont care who just some one im so fuckin bored oh yea it was me that sent the
hug
to jazzy she said she needed one and ther was no way fer me to give it to her so i just wrote it but yea maybe i should of just said from jeff but im stupid like that i dont know what im doin i just am so fuckin bored
but yea im thinkin im gonna call eridy or some shit i dont know maybe i will go out skatebordin again

oh yea i saw shanda today she was all like flirtin with me and shit man that bitch is fuckin hott

id fuck that bitch in the ass

Sunday, June 27, 2004

fuck that shit bitch

yea i said fuck that and fuck you mutha fuckas ill fuckin cut your bladder out and have sex with it... man im fuckin crazy and that would be fresh cuze im a juggalo and thats what i do i make shit fresh... mutha fucka
im a picker i pick noses mutha fuckas my own bitch

but yea im gonna go pick my nose and talk to a tree

Saturday, June 26, 2004

i cant tell so dont ask but i really need you and i know your not here and you wont be for awhile but i was just thinkin about you like i told you i did and then this song came on and i couldnt stop thikin about you i miss you and i wanna see you and hold you in my arms and never let you go fuck i sound like a bitch fuck that shit im a picker

lastnite was the shit i was a clown and i went to the carnivale and i got free rides and i saw alot of ppl and did tricks fer some little kids and shit and i saw katie from souix city she has a kid now she fuckin scared me when i was talkin to her cuze she all walked up and was like this is my daughter and i was all like damn whos the dad and she just kinda froze fer a while then said it was her boyfreinds baby and i was like wow that was close

you say you wanna stand by my side darlin your heads not rite

now im talkin to emly on the phone

so i think im gonna go now peace out dawg

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

ha bitches

yea thats rite mutha fuckas i saw jen today see is so fuckin cool i miss hangin out with her i think she might call me some time and her boyfreind dont hate me so i can talk to her

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Something is wrong wit me.

id beat a preist like a little child

im a workin man ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

yea i did alot of workin today well not really but i did something not alot but something

Monday, June 21, 2004

just venten or some shit

BREAK DOWN BREAK DOWN i dont wanna live like that i wanna just run away from almost everything sometimes i can never tell i feel so betrayed i really tried i did my time i did my time i wonder what song i wanna hear now ha ha ha i wanna hear nothin left 20 thousand websites hotlines and club
let it be the other shit in 6 differnt veiws i guess its time that i told you
there aint no duckin when the hatchet swings mutha fuckas

i love you guys man
man fuck you why you always gotta ruin the moment
there is no buety that wont get old

will you let me on
will you let me on
will you let me on
will you let me on

hey jack jeckel fly twist and spin to the other side

she said she stuck in a bind i dont even know why it sux to even try so i wont try anymore she took the afternoon train to find a differnt plain but a life down the drain is better than bein ignored...rite?





ok im done with all this i am out this fuckin bitch so fuck off fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u and yea well peace out emly love ya










































































yep

its times like theis you learn to love again its times like theis time and time again its times you learn to live again its times like theis you learn to give again

this song is the shit i just wish certain people could hear it and think about things

Someday

In many ways they'll miss the good old days
Someday, someday
Yeah it hurts to say but I want you to stay
Sometimes, sometimes
When we was young oh man did we have fun
Always, always
Promises they break before they're made
Sometimes, sometimes

Oh, my ex says i'm lacking in depth
I will do my best
You say you wanna stay by my side
Darling your head's not right
I see alone we stand together we fall apart
Yeah, I think I'll be alright
I'm working so I won't have to try so hard
Tables they turn sometimes.
Oh someday.
I ain't wasting no more time.

Trying, trying.

And now my fears, they come to me in threes
So I, sometimes
They fade my friend, you say the strangest things
I find, sometimes

Oh, my ex says i'm lacking in depth
Say I will try my best
You say you wanna stay by my side
Darling your head's not right
I see alone we stand together we fall apart
Yeah, I think I'll be alright
I'm working so I won't have to try so hard
Tables they turn sometimes.
Oh someday

I ain't wasting no more time

but yea i listen to this song all the time and well it probly means more to me than it will too you but yea if you do read this and firgure it out i love you and i always will

and fer anyone else sorry

Saturday, June 19, 2004

ya know you make me break down make me breakdown i dont wanna live like no i dont wanna live like that

Friday, June 18, 2004

this would be the shit CD

the strokes: Someday
shinedown: 45
white stripes: Buster
foo fighters: times like these
foo fighters: breakout
the strokes: is this it
pink floyd: hey you
foo fighters: monkey wrench
the strokes: I cant win
new found glory: all downhill from here
nin: hurt
pink floyd: comfortably numb
3 doors down: duck and run
buffalo Springfield: for what its worth
dashboard confessional: again I go unnoticed
hoobastank: disappear
linkin park: numb
papa roach: she oves me not
Rooney: mellow song(losing all control)
Zug Izland: Cry

yea its masens name

Infested Corpse

ima juggla eventho i cant juggle shit

Thursday, June 17, 2004

uhh uhh uh uh uhh yea i dont know

i dont know why i am bloggin i am just bored i wanna go fer a walk tho but i cant go fer a walk wit the one i want to walk wit, man emly i was tryin to show your parents that i am responsable and leave eairly but you wernt about that but it is ok i liked seenin you tonite i cant wait till tamarra i get to see emly and work with her out in the sun and we will get all sweaty and shit and well i am gonna like it it will be cool

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

yea yea yea

i wanna talk to sara so i can get my nife back and i need to figure out what i wanna do fer like in the life and shit i kinda think i should just be alone and just see who i like bein around the most and see if i can figure out what i want


bleed mutha fucka bleed

i dotn know what to do i wanna die and shit and i still like emly and i thought it wasnt that bad but today i was hangin wit her and well i do like her alot and i wanna be with her in a way but i dont want to hurt her so i dont know i will have to think about it fer a while then i will do sumpin about it i dont know what i want all i know is i need a job like really bad so that i can pay my fines and not go to jail ill be pissed if i go to jail then i wont get to see anyone and im not a criminal like most ppl think i am

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

im really worried about kd now i think they got caught but i dont know i wish i could talk to her but i cant i dont know what to do im bored and nobodie is around and ther is nuttin to do so i think im gonna go

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Bitch Ho Stank Booty Freak

in a trance

sittin round no work today try pacein to keep awake layin around no school today just drink until the clock has circled all the way

i wanna die like really bad now i dont know im just fuckin stupid your crawl from this bed youve made you will never remeber the things that you chose to forget and its so easy to just give it all up and crawl into a hole and die i wanna climb the highest mountin and jump off and just float away or crash into the ground either would be cool


your amazein me a dimond fer free your as real as can be no matter how bad things in life can be youve always got me

man kd didnt even try to get me to stay she just wanted to see someone else im just a ride fuck that i hate me i wanna die why dose shit like this always happen to me

i think i should go and jump infront of a train or some shit i cant wait till im gone i wanna leave so bad but i have nowere to go and well its easier to just die atleast then i can rest im so tired of everything fuck it im just gonna get colder and colder till im like ice

i got too many things goin on and not enuf ppl who love me i gotta deal wit it all right or wrong and no bodie thinkin of me

but i sold my soul and now look at me i got no freinds and i cant get a bicth all i got is a pile of shit and a brain that no work

i thought i knew the game but i dont im just spost to be alone fer ever
everytime i get something good i get scared that im gonna have to just settle and not be happy just be ok

love is not fer me

death is all i want

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

uhh uhh uh uh uhh

yea i just dropped kd off and i wanna see her i miss her so much but i cant tell her that i was gonna ask her back out today but when i got ther i chickened out like a bitch i dont know how to say it i dont know if i can im kinda scared but yea i get to see eridy in like a few mins so thats kinda cool ill talk to her about alot of shit i have needed to talk to her fer a while but she was grounde3d then she went to new york but she might be comin to town tonite so that will be cool i dont know tho i still am thinkin about kd she said i was actin werid today and thats cuze i wanted to ask her out but i didnt know about her little josh thingy and i dont wanna fuck shit up again i hated the way i felt when we didnt get along i dont wanna feel like that again and i dont wanna make her feel bad or anything but i dont know if she wants to go back out jessica keeps askin about us goin out so i wonder if kd want to we get along really well tho i like that its like we are goin out kinda i just dont know im scared and i wanna talk to sara first she will know what i should do she know all the shit like that she helps me alot but it is hard fer me to talk to her cuze i still feel fer her and shit but now im out this mutha fucka

ahh i dont know just typin shit

im poor i dont gots no money everybodie i know is poor wes some broke bitchs yea the truth is out ther and so am i way way away bored bored bored ummmm carmel chewy stuck in tooth jaw cramin fuckin carmel ahhhhhh DOORNOB

i won

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

i wanna see sara

yea i dont know why but i wanna see sara she gets home today from new york i miss er i think im gonna see her todayim spost ta go and meet her and eridy when they get home eridy wants a ciggerett and i wanna see sara and eridy i havent seen her in a long time i wanna die too but yea that about it everybodie knows im headin downtown to the shelter

my cd list

1 juggalo party
2 whut
3 hommies
4 juggalo paridise
5 love song
6 another love song
7 the killin feilds
8 we belong
9 toybox
10 mad professer
11 it rains dimonds
12 pass me by
13 house of horrors
14 fuck the world
15 boogie woogie wu
16 down with the clown
17 its time
18 nothin left

kick ass my lyric is cool

you think im crazy cuze i smoke crak say it again bitch ill break your back you fuckin little bitch i beat you like a snitch think i wont come on mutha fuckas twitch thats what i thought ya know ill smoke you like a dub i bought thinkin you the shit better run cuze you gonna get hit dont ever come frontin with that weakass shit ill just fuck you up and leave you bloody no fuck that i wont quit all that will remain is a gooey mess that used to be you...

Monday, June 07, 2004

yea

well today was kinda better than yesterday when emly talked to me i felt so bad but i cant deal right im kinda werid i dont want commitments and obligations and shit i just dont wanna be just a blip on the radar i hate me i wanna die im sorry tho i dont think it would be a good i dea fer us to talk today so im just kinda go and run away and shit i kinda like it tho i can go when i want and come when i want and do everything fer me im sorry but im selfish but hey its me dark lotus is back bitch im rich bitch rick james bitch gallagar bitch mmmm mmmmmmmm bitch

Infested Corpse

SHAKE DAT AAASSSSSSS
BITCH!!!

Infested Corpse

SHAKE DAT AAASSSSSSS
BITCH!!!

Saturday, June 05, 2004

im sorry i cant

ok i havnet been well and this is why i have been thinkin about alot of shit and well i cant change i just cant be a differnt person im sorry i tried but i cant i dont know ill talk to you some time ok

ok just ventin dont worrie

yesterday was bad like really bad i woke up and knew it was gonna be bad and well i was right i just vented in my blog and emly took it all personal but i can see how but i cant just not say some things cuze it me blog and if ppl dont like what it says they dont need to read it sorry but that is how i am im in like a werid mood today i dont wanna see anyone i dont wanna talk i just dont wanna be i just wanna fade into nothiness i feel like ther is a void in me like a black hole i dont know i just dont want it to go i love this song: your such an inperation of how i never ever wanna be i think i am gonna get sick i gotta hang over of someshit i dont know the room is spinnin and my head hurts like really bad i need to think about some things like emly kd and sara o yea i talked to sara this mornin she sleep in my boxers last nite and she is the one who stole my nife and now i gotta trade her something fer it

Friday, June 04, 2004

ok now im thinkin

im not sure why but emly keeps askin me if i really like her and now i am thinkin about it i wonder if she dosnt think i want her i am startin to think that i dont know what i want now i thought i did but now i dont know i just know that one of theis days im leavin
\

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

if it all ended today would anyone care in like a year

i have always wondered if my freinds are really my freinds or if they just put up with me cuze i can get them alot of money i know i got like two freinds and im sure that emly likes me but i dont know i am just kinda depressed

i hope that jazzy is ok tho she had a bad nite
i wanna die but i cant

its not alrite
its not alrite

emly and twizted r makin me feel better tho
and its your fault that so many are young and dumb and turn to drugs and be like fuck an education

if your good youll go to heaven if not youll be destaned to live till the year 2057

im chemicly dependant maybe a little skitsophrenic
its like the end of it all is just to far away

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

wow god i hate my life

i just got done talkin about some shit and shit and now i dont know what to think i feel bad tho i dont want anything bad to happen im kinda worried and all this other shit is goin on and well i just dont feel right now and fuckin i dont know

but yea im gonna talk to emly now shell make me feel better maybe

get down

hells yea my mom is at work and everyone else is outta state yea where is emly when i need her

i finally got my song

its not you kill someone this song is the shit it is judith by a perfect circle me and jason used to listen to it all the time and well its fuckin the shit but now im done with my plans fer now so im gonna go take a shower and then try to get a hold of emly