Friday, April 30, 2004

the ex -bily talent
dont hate me -the get up kids
exgirlfreind -esham

ok well fuck all of you then you punk ass mutha fuckas fuck you stupid bitches i fuckin hate you god i fuckin hate you i thought you were differnt but your not your just the same as everyone else fuck all of you fuckin basturds


fuckin bitch

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

its too early in the mornin its fuckin 8:16 take ya ass ta bed mutha fuckas

Monday, April 26, 2004

ok well i didnt go ta jazzys last nite cuze well i was sick or some shit i dont know but my head was spinnin and my stomic hurt like a mutha fucka

sorry jazzy but im gonna pick her up from school if i can but yea im out diz bitch and yea

im not doing this so i know that your waiting fer me im not like that im not just some fuck playin wit ppls emotions and shit fuck that

fuck every one







[but jazzy]

ok well i didnt go ta jazzys last nite cuze well i was sick or some shit i dont know but my head was spinnin and my stomic hurt like a mutha fucka

sorry jazzy but im gonna pick her up from school if i can but yea im out diz bitch and yea

im not doing this so i know that your waiting fer me im not like that im not just some fuck playin wit ppls emotions and shit fuck that

fuck every one







[but jazzy]

Sunday, April 25, 2004

i guess its time that i told you ill break you off

you should sneek out with me but i cant say that to you
that would be like hella cool


run away run away

hells fuckin yea bitch i gets ta see jazzy later. yea

god damn i dont know what it is but like i wanna see jazzy like really bad and i dont know why i think im startin to have withdrawls or some shit i dont know maybe im just really high and by brain is just wonderin around and shit but yea i wanted to see jazzy today but masen all made me go to marcus to see tippy and eridy and well i think it would have been more fun seein jazzy and all bein like yea your really fuckin hott and see her smile. i havent seen her smile since hotdog days that wasnt that long ago but it seems like alot longer than it has been jazzy if you read this try to get a hold of me or just email me or something i dont care i am gonna shut up now









>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.0o0o0o0o0o0o0.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<

Saturday, April 24, 2004

today really sux like ther aint nuttin i can do
i think i should go and try to dround myself i know it dont work but ill suffer fer a bit i dont know why but masen is all pist at me and shit i think well he has something that he should tell me but i dont know what it is

i want to see jazzy but i think im gonna just stop talkin to girls all together fuck ill just start not talkin to ne bodie but like two ppl

well i dont know i think ima drive off a fuckin cliff

Friday, April 23, 2004

yea ok first jazzy jonny cash redid nine inch nails song.. but his is pretty good i like it anyway today i dont know what happend but i all went into a seriously depressed stage and im still kinda sad but i dont know why... i think it is cause i all started to think about sara and shit.. so i went to marcus and drove by her house and she was outside but i couldnt seem to get the courage to stop i mean i saw her and she saw me but i just ran away like i always do i think that it might mean that i dont really want to be wit sara but everytime i think about it i get all sad and shit i dont know i think that she just has this strange hold on me and well i cant get away from it but i want to so bad some times but then again i dont i have trouble thinkin about just never talkin to her again i just go all loser mode and miss her alot but she dont like me so fuck that i hate havein to live like that

o hells fuckin yea i saw shanda beerman today wow she is hott i didnt talk to her either tho just looked at her and then i drove away i remember back in the day i had a big crush on her and she was all just like hott and shit then i moved by her and she got hotter and now she is just really hott

man the whole day i was think about jazzy i really wanted to see her today but i didnt so im just a loser jazzy i miss you so bad i try so hard not to let you know but i think that you should know now i think i was wrong like a muthafucka back in the day i do want to have a relationship with you but ther so many ppl that dont want that to happen like yo daddy and alot of other ppl but then again ther is kd

and well kd huh yea thats a mind fuck and a half i think she likes me like more than friends but i dont know and she is all like startin to hang out wit her ex and shit and well i dont know if i should ask her out cuze well i have known her parents fer like a long time and shit but then again i think i like her too i had a crush on her back in the day but now i dont know if i like her or if i just have a really good frienship wit her and if i got a really good friendship than i dont really wanna fuck it up by datin her

but yea i think im done now
i wanna thank you fer lettin me vent but now i am out this bitch

peace yall



Wednesday, April 21, 2004

ok i feel like shit now i just read a email from jazzy and well she was right i am an asshole she didnt say it but i know its true i do like jazzy but i am not sure what i want in this life im not sure if i even want this life the only reason why im still here is cuze i dont wanna make some ppl sad i hope that if i ever did that ppl would just forget a bout me ya know out of sight out of mind... but i think that i have a strange hold on some ppl i dont know what it is about me that ppl like i mean i dont like me...



i wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die
i still wanna die

eridy quit readin this

ok today i went to quimby and kd was drivin and she broke my car like really bad so now i gotta fix that shit

and jazzy i think felt bad cuze im an asshole

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

ok then yep ima asshole

im an asshole

Monday, April 19, 2004

well today was kinda kool i gave kd a ride to school so she wouldnt get cought fer skippin and when i dropped her off she told me to come over but i dont know why i think she wants me thats the shit . when i went to her house i got high wit her mama and then went to see her and we layed on MY couch (that shit is mine) and we talk a little and we almost fell asleep her ass was makin me so tired all goin to sleep and shit. i think i should have went and gott jazzy from her thingy

o yea i went to quimby to see heater and holly and tamie and heather was all givin me sexy eyes and shit man that little fuckin 12 year old has a nice body it sucks she is 12 tho shes kinda hott

i think i like drinkin know well i know i like drinkin its kool




you get six monthes to adapt and you get two more to leave town

if the perfect spring is waitin somewhere just take me ther
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite
its gonna be alrite

Sunday, April 18, 2004

oh damn i just got home from katies and well i have never been in more pain well not fer a while atleast my junk kinda hurts well it dose like really bad
i read jazzys blog and that was kinda kool well it made me happyier than i was i still wanna see her i really miss her i miss just lookin in her eyes the most it was like bein in my own little world when i look into her eyes but yea i fucked that up but someday i will make it up to her i dont know when or how but i will

(i promise)
but yea im really tired so im gonna go to bed


peace yall

Friday, April 16, 2004

just lieing in bed and i started to think about jazzy and then i had a dream about her when i fell asleep it was kinda kool we were like 3 or 4 years older and we were hooked up and i was so happy and we gott along so good and it just seemed right it was a cool dream i still dont like sleepin but i did last nite thanx jazzy i havent really talked to anybodie fer a couple days and i havent told anyone that i was changin but jazzy read my blog so she knows but thats k cuze i dont care if jazzy knows she cool enuf but yea i just gott up and i dont know what is goin on i just got on my puter and started readin jazzys blog then i started writein in mine



deth row nigga deth row in this muthat fucka


so dont be hatein cool ass songs
i got a new bike i went and spent a hundred and fourteen dollas on my bike i love my bike its not like a great bike but its a bik and i wanted one so i bought one and i rode around fer like 5 hours on my bike yesterday
but im out dis bitch


you must be a magican cuze yous a( trick good line )

peace yall im out jeff

Thursday, April 15, 2004

well i think i finally figured out what i want... i dont want to be me anymore i hate me i hate everything about me i just cant stand me i mean damn i really suck ass i am mean i dont think about others i just think about me
and well i dont like it so i think i am gonna try to change. i dont think its gonna end well but if ppl dont like it well then fuck them im not gonna stay this way fer no one i hate this i wanna be someone else
i am even thinkin about gettin a job in hospers and movin somewere in between here and ther
i am sorry if anybody gets offended by this but something just has to give and i will give i am good at quittin shit so ill just quit life all together
{sorry jazzy}
dont worry about me tho it aint like im gonna kill myself well i dont plan on it i just wish that i could be happy im tired so so tired of bein me i wish i had wings and could just fly far from here were nobodie knows me and just start over cut all ties with everyone i know even sara and just forget about it all of it

ya know i think i need help my brain dosent function right i think one of theis days ima gonna go see a head doctor and see what is wrong with me

one of theis days i may never awake whole body ice cold staring at pearly gates waitin fer a second chance to dance with the dead underground livin with the moon fer a freind


and the worst part is i still wanna die


one day man one day ill be gone

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

hey that makes a lot of sence to me i guess i never took time to think a bout how i was hurtin u by not wantin to get hurt
so i think that you should not wait fer me we will still be freinds right i hope so maybe sometime later in our lives we will try to get together and it might work but i dont want to hurt you now so we should just be friends i am so sorry for all the hurt that i cuased you i will never try to hurt you and if possable i will never hurt you again
just remember that i do like you but i dont want to hurt you alot later by startin a relationship and findin out that we r not compatable so we should just be friends

we can talk about it sometime if you want or we can leave it as we r just freinds its up to u

bye jeff

Friday, April 09, 2004

last nite i was talkin to sara on the phone and when she got ready to go she told me that she loved me i felt so loved i think that we r gonna hook up i hope so atleast today i went to her house and saw her baby well her parent development baby last nite i tried to hold it and it started to cry yea that was kinda scary
i guess toy babys dont like me well i dont care i dont like them either
i like real babys not the fake ones i think sara wants to have a kid but she says that she wants to wait fer 5 years
i think that she should wait fer a long time well i mean i dont wanna kid rite now i dont know if i will want to have a kid but i think that sara can talk me into it if she tried she wouldnt have to try hard tho



well jazzy is seemin to be takin me and sara pretty well i think that jazzy is really cool and she seems to be pretty mature i thought she was gonna freak out im so glad that she didnt

Thursday, April 08, 2004

gos i hate wakin up

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

yea well this is kinda fer jazzy i have thought about it alot and well i think we should be freinds fer a while and see if we do like each other as much as we say

sorry if i hurt you but i still wanna see you
i just dont wanna get into a relationship and end up not likein you as much as i thought
sorry if this hurts ill get a hold of you some time and we can talk

Sunday, April 04, 2004

well shit i guess i dont know what to do i think jazzy want to go out wit me but im not sure i think i need to just hag out wit her and see how things go and all that shit but i dont know when to hang out wit her i wonder if she is still on probation ha ha ha that is funny jazzy man some fuckin cop told my friends that they cant be on public property aint that some shit but hey i dont know i just have too many things on my mind right now to worry about that so i am just gonna think about all the shit i can till my mind explodes man that would be cool just be sittin here and then boom my whole head is gone just like that just poof its outta here

well as far as jazzy goes i really do like her but i just aint sure if i want to settle down and have all the responseability of a relationship i think im a toys r us kid fer life but i dont want to hurt her so i dont know what to do maybe we should be friends fer a while and see how that goes and well i dont know what i am tryin to say so im just gonna shut up before i say something that will get me in trouble.... nahh ill keep goin this is all about me i dont care what ppl who read this think if you dont like what you r readin just stop readin but if you r still here hells fuckin yea

and as sara goes i dont know if i even want to talk to her now cuze she will just lure me in like a moth to lights and i will do something that i think might hurt jazzy again and i dont wanna do that again cuze well i still kinda feel a little bad about it and i think that jazzy has forgave me but i dont know what is goin on i just wish that she would tell me how she feels and i wish i knew how sara felt about me too i just wanna know exactly how you too feel a bout me man i always have troubles wit relationships it just too complicated and shit i dont know how to deal wit it so i just kinda wonder in my thoughts and by the time i figure out what i want its too late

oh yea i am buildin a little house down at the beach if you even know where that is but not many do so yea
its a cool litlle house thinggy but yea i want to see jazzy

like alot but i think she is sleepin fer school yank yank

well yea im out nite jazzy
peace all the rest of you little fucks
and quit fuckin readin this shit its stupid well most of it is
you can read it if you want i guess




CLOWN LUV BITCH

last nit e i talk to jazzy fer like a long time we went to the fort and hung out till like 5 or close to it in da monin then fuckin we started talkin and i think i made her not so mad but i dont know she was smilin when she left

but now how to tell sara that i am busy with anotha girl so fuck her

Shout outs


nesam

and me

so now what to do

i dont fuckin know i like her and jazzy likes me and i like sara but i dont know how much sara likes me eridy says she dose and when we r alone she acts like it but i dont know cuze well jazzy really likes me and i like her too but i dont know which one to chose i guess that i a m just never spost to be happy i dont know maybe i just should go and live in the woods like an animal and just never see ppl be all like leo decraprio in da beach that shit would be fun i think i really hurt jazzy (i wasnt just fuckin wit your head i really like u ) but yea ima shut up before i say something that i shouldent say


peace yall im out diz bitch fuckin shit damn bitch fucka whore basturd and shit

Saturday, April 03, 2004

yep ima go campin wonder if masen wants to go yea im out peace yall sorry jazzy i didnt mean for it to happen like it did

gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
???
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
http://clownluv.blogspot.com/ go ther
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
its me blog
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
and grrrrrrrrr u
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
sorry... i just found out cindy just now left her house
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
ok its cool
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
y didnt you say something about this before?
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
i didnt know how
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
sorry about the last line
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
well im going to go
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
cindy is here
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
your not gonna say anything
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
im pissed... thats all i have to say
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
yea i thought you would be im sorry
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
im mad that you fucked with my head... YEA
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
its not like that but ill talk to u some time
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
if thats ok
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
ok... w/e... me and cindy will be around... if you want to talk sometime tonight... i have to be home at 11
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
buye
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
tomarrow k
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
when?
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
i dont know just not tonite
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
why?
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
just cuze
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
duh... w/e
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
fine
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
im leaving now
sometimes i feel like i got to run away ive got to get away says:
bye
gggrrrrrrrrrr! says:
bye



FUCK I FUCKED UP LIKE REALLY BAD THIS TIME

i fuckin cant beleave it damn i just cant stay mad at her i mean i was really pissed but then i saw her and everything was kool again then i gave her a ride home and she fell asleep on my shoulder i have never been so comphertable before it was like a whole new thing i loved it i even drove slow just so that it would last longer i didnt want to leave her ther at home i wanted to stay wit her and never leave her side but hells fuckin yea she broke up wit her boyfreind so now i think i am gonna hook up wit her god i hope i do i really do love her with all my hart and shit i dont know what i would do without her damnit i just remembered she got my fuckin bracelet damn damn damn she has like 75 % of all my jewelery and i am never gettin it back well at least i dont think i will she likes to keep my shit like that but hey thats just the way she is o fuck i missed the bball game wit jazzy man i like her and all and i think that she likes me well im pretty fuckin sure that she likes me but i dont know the flames and sparks that she makes me feel just aint ther wit jazzy well just not as much hahaha i got sara all hot and bothered and sent her to bed she wants ta play the whole well now you know how it feels thing well now she has a small clue of what i feel everytime we part(B)(L)(U)balls like a mutha fucka we aint even gotta do anything but it still happens well fuck ther is nothin left for me here so im out dis bitch peace yall and quit fuckin readin my shit damit its all about me mutha fucka all about me

Friday, April 02, 2004

hell fuckin yea... I want to start my blog by givvin some shout outs... ok then now back to me man life is kinda fucked up. fuckin ppl always gotta be fuckin shit up... i dont know what im talkin about i just high really really high (thanks nesam) man i am goin to a basketball game tomarrow well today with jazzy... that'll be fun i think. damn i gotta fuck wit my puter i aint done mutha fuckas...